A Moment in the Darkness

 Where it ended: It was probably during my college years that I really started to understand my emotions. However, breaking out of the role I had perfected wasn't going to be easy, I had to rewrite my story. But just as Rome was not built in a day, it was going to take some time to rewrite a story 18 years in the making... And now the story continues... I started college at the local community/vocational school near my parents. Up until this point, I had been homeschooled all my life. Adjusting to the new schedule took a little getting used to, though it wasn't the schoolwork that was most challenging for me. In actuality, it was navigating the social rules of conduct among so many more peers. Photo by  Edilson Borges  on  Unsplash One of the first challenges was figuring out where I fit. I was this very loud, sometimes obnoxious, kid from the middle of nowhere who knew no one, and who had never sat in a classroom in his life. I was about to learn a few hard truths....

It was some time ago that I made my first mistake... Was it really my very first mistake? Probably not, but it's the first one that I know I regretted. My mistake... was wearing a mask. Photo by  Edilson Borges  on  Unsplash With Halloween coming up all forms of masks will start to show up, like ghosts, ghouls, and goblins. But there are some masks that are not always physical. Sometimes they might be mental, spiritual, or, like the mask I wore, emotional. Growing up in the middle of nowhere, in the panhandle of Florida, I was surrounded by your typical "good ol' southern boys/girls." If I am being honest, it was quite intimidating. I was not born a "southern boy", but was grafted in around the age of seven. And, like any seven-year-old child, I wanted to feel accepted by my natural-born peers. So I watched those around me, copied their mannerisms, learned what was acceptable to like and dislike, and if it meant being accepted, I gave in to peer pressure. Th...